Modern Life: “Be Strong”, No Longer Enough

M odern life moves fast. It asks more of us. We are expected to work, succeed, support our families, raise our children and somehow keep going. In Cameroon, people have a remarkable ability to cope. Yet behind the smiles can lie exhaustion, loneliness and anxiety. The real question is no longer simply how much people can carry, but what happens when the burden becomes too heavy and there is no one to help. Before sunrise, many Cameroonians are already awake. In a dim kitchen, a mother counts a few banknotes beside a schoolbag. School fees, transport, food: choices must be made. In Douala, a young graduate irons his shirt for another day of looking for work. In Yaounde, an executive wakes to a phone full of family emergencies: her mother's medicine, a nephew's school fees, her bro­ ther's rent. Then the cities come alive. Taxis sound their horns, shops open and people chase deadlines. They send FCFA 10,000 here and FCFA 20,000 there, sometimes borrowing from tomorrow simply to survive today. Ask, “How are things?” and the answer often comes automa­ tically: “We are there.” Three small words carrying enormous weight. Sometimes they mean: I am exhausted, but I have neither the time nor the space to explain it. Picture a man sitting late at night with a calculator. Rent. School fees. Food. Transport. Electricity. Medicine for a parent. He adds everything up and compares it with his income. The figures refuse to meet. He calculates again, as if the mathematics might be kinder the second time. Eventually, his body goes to bed. His mind remains at the table with the calculator. Modern life brings another paradox: success can mean more people depending on you. A young executive may earn a decent salary, yet his/her phone has become the family helpdesk. A nephew needs school fees, an aunt needs medical care, a brother needs rent. Twenty thousand francs here, thirty thousand there, until the person consi­ dered comfortable is herself struggling. Sometimes the deepest shock comes from home. Imagine a father of six who discovers his wife has been unfaithful. Beyond the broken trust are six children to protect from the conflict. He must still work and meet his responsibilities while his world is falling apart. Where does he turn? “My brother, be strong.” “Forgive and Forget about it.” “You are a man.” As if masculinity itself were counselling. His pain deserves to be heard. But pain, however deep, can never become permission to hurt someone else. When distress is buried beneath pride, shame or the belief that psychological help is for the weak, tension can spill into the home. Financial pressure, jealousy, betrayal, unemployment or exhaustion never excuse violence. Yet anger that is neither recognized nor addressed can feed an already dangerous conflict, leading to violence in the gravest cases. And violence between partners can end in the killing of a partner. The tragedy then reaches far beyond the couple, leaving children and families to carry its consequences. Help should not begin only after so­ meone has broken down. Psychological support can help someone recognize anger, humiliation or despair before directing them at a partner. Sometimes the strongest words are not “I can handle it”, but “I need help.” The digital age adds another pressure. We compare our everyday struggles with other people's carefully selected moments of success online. Family remains one of Ca­ meroon's strongest safety nets in times of hardship. But solidarity can also bring pressure over marriage, children, family duties and money. Religion too offers hope and companionship. But anxiety and exhaustion is not simply lack of prayer or failure of faith as some people often think. Spiritual guidance and psychological support can work together. It is also time to reconsider the familiar phrase: “Be strong.” Be strong after bereavement, failure, separation or losing a job. Be str...